Does Your Star Need Polishing?

by Carol Hess on June 5, 2011

Most of my life, I polished other people’s stars and forgot to polish my own. 

Actually, that’s not true.  I didn’t forget.  I didn’t know how to polish my own star.  Heck, I didn’t even know I had a star to polish! 

And even if I had known, I still wouldn’t have polished it.  Why not?  Because I had never been given permission to shine. 

Actually, that’s not true either.  I was given permission to shine.  But only a little bit and only in a certain way, under certain conditions.  

I’m afraid that’s true of many women.  Is it true of you? 

Here are some telltale signs that your star needs polishing: 

1.  You can’t immediately name 5 things you’re really good at doing.  I guarantee you’re really good at doing a lot more than 5 things, but you probably aren’t aware of them, don’t acknowledge them, or don’t value them. 

2.  You put everyone else’s needs before your own.  So many women do this and feel noble about it.  That’s bulls**t.  The world doesn’t need more martyrs.  It needs more light.  It needs your light. 

3.  You eat too much or you drink too much or you use/do something too much.  When your star is dim, you feel a lot of pain.  And there are lots of ways to run away from pain.  The only problem is they’re just a quick fix.  The pain comes back. 

4.  You find it difficult to be still and quiet.  Sometimes it’s less painful to live an over-scheduled life full of background noise than to get still, see your darkness, and feel your emptiness. 

5.  You feel like your life is on hold until (fill in the blank) happens.  What if (fill in the blank) never happens?  What if you run out of time?  What if you die before you’ve lived?

It’s never too late to discover your star and start polishing it.  In fact, I’m thinking of starting a club – The Just in the Nick of Time Star Shine Club.  I’ve turned the late bloomer thing into a fine art, so I get to be president of the club.  But the vice president’s slot is open. 

Any takers out there?

by Carol Hess


Categories Personal Empowerment, The Art of Star Polishing

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar Catherine June 6, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Succinctly brilliant! The 5 telltale signs are so prevalent among women and I think a lot of women assume that they just have to put up with feeling like crap. Big fat lie!! However I think many women get a little scared when they realize that feeling happier is about taking charge and no longer blaming or waiting.


avatar Carol Hess June 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Your comment is also succinctly brilliant, Catherine! :-) You better believe it’s a big fat lie. And it is indeed scary to take responsibility and take charge of our lives. But also addictive once we start to do it. Who doesn’t like feeling that powerful in such a good way? Thanks for your feedback, Catherine. Always glad to have “your wise voice” joining the conversation here at Star Polisher.


avatar Monica Dennis June 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm

lol! I was fine until I got to #4.

#1 – check
#2 – I’m actually pretty selfish in my own eyes because I know what I want to do and even more importantly what I DON’T want to do and I have to keep taking to myself about there being times when what I don’t want to do has to take a back seat to someone else – usually family – being happy and feeling valued.
#3 – don’t we all? :-) I can live with recognizing the excess when it happen and striving to do something about it right then, or else recognize it after the fact and try to keep it from happening again. But shoot, I don’t want to focus here!
#4 DING! DING! DING! There has to be something said for people born this way, though, don’t ya think? Now, I know how to laze about when I really want to and I know how to go on vacation and forget the world exists. But when I’m in go mode, I go until I drop. Excessive, I’m sure. I guess I just haven’t reached a point where this bothered me yet. But hey, life is a series of lessons to learn and maybe I just haven’t gotten to that one yet! 😉
#5 Hmm. I already know there are things on my back burner that I’m not fully ready to do yet. But I guess I’m a bit of a late bloomer myself since I didn’t start really being ME until college and it’s been a process since then to let little bits show more and more over time. I know I’m not fully there yet and the things I have yet to do are connected to whenever I let that part of myself loose. I don’t feel held back though since I know I’m doing this. Just giving myself permission to use ALL my time to bloom, even though I don’t know how much time I have on this earth! Otherwise, I’d have to be on the go all the time just in case I don’t see tomorrow. Hmmm, anyone else seeing a catch 22? 😀


avatar Carol Hess June 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I love how you are letting us get to know you, Monica, and exploring your star brilliance “out loud” with us. Hip, hip, hooray to using all the time you have — however much it is — to bloom!


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: