Who Me? Hiding & Playing Small?

by Carol Hess on August 8, 2012

I didn’t think so when Jenny suggested it.  After all, I had been making a concerted effort to get out there and into the game – more so than I’d ever done before.

But I had a lot of respect for Jenny’s opinion.  And she was echoing what Sandi had been saying – another wise woman whose opinion I respect.  I had to face it.  Maybe I was hiding.  Maybe I was playing small.

Jenny went on to suggest ever so gently that I had been playing small in an arena in which I wasn’t quite as afraid of rejection.  But the problem was I wasn’t just keeping myself tiny and invisible.  I was keeping Star Polisher tiny and invisible too.

Ouch!  She had nailed me 100%.  I knew it the minute she said it.  But that wasn’t the worst part.  The worst part was I wasn’t walking my talk.  I wasn’t practicing what I preached.  For someone whose #1 value is integrity, it almost killed me to realize I had allowed myself to get that far out of alignment with what I believe in so ferociously.

There I was, urging the overweight woman to get out there and live her life to the fullest no matter what she weighed.  But this overweight woman wasn’t taking her own advice.  I wasn’t taking Star Polisher all the way out there to the fullest.  In a dark little back room of my mind I try not to visit very often, I was harboring the belief that I wasn’t quite good enough to really play big and to really let my light shine.  Why?  Because of a number on a scale?  A clothing size?  Give me a fucking break!

So I made a decision.  I was getting rid of that asinine, not good enough belief once and for all.  It wasn’t going to rent room in my head for one more minute.  I was evicting it – permanently.  And I was coming out of hiding and bringing Star Polisher with me.

So I did.

I’m stepping into my power and playing big.  And if you see me starting to shrink again and go invisible, you have my permission to call me on it.  Please!

So now we have Star Polisher the Sequel.  There’s a new and improved website, new manifesto, new offerings, and lots of juicy new plans I’m so excited about!  Like a private community just for those of us polishing our stars because we’re all thirsting for community and people who really get us.  Like a Powerful Questions e-course because the right question can turn you upside down and change your life – in a good way!  :)  Like the first annual Star Polisher Retreat – a real one in a very cool B&B right here on the coast of Maine with ocean and islands and pine trees and clambakes on the beach.    Seriously, how can you resist a vacation that transforms you at the same time?

And there’s more where that came from.  For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’ve been sitting on this stuff for so long.  But there you have it.  When we’re playing small and hiding out, that’s what happens.  We sit on our greatest gifts – exactly those things that the world most needs us not to sit on.

I’m done doing that.  I hope you are too.

(If you are, say so in the Comments.  And then sign up for the Star Polisher mailing list.  Be sure you stay tuned in here on the blog too.  The best way to do that is to sign up by hitting the RSS feed button.  Yep, sorry.  You do have to sign up twice.  We are working to fix that, but haven’t figured out how yet.) 


by Carol Hess


Categories Personal Empowerment, The Art of Star Polishing, The Mind Game

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar Ellen Berg August 8, 2012 at 4:22 pm

This: “When we’re playing small and hiding out, that’s what happens. We sit on our greatest gifts – exactly those things that the world most needs us not to sit on.” <<Goosebumps. This is exactly the sort of reframe we need. It's not just about us, it's about all the people who need what we have to offer, *whatever* that is.

Love, and I'm glad you decided to come out and play fer realz.


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

That was my favorite line in the post too, Ellen! (Great minds think alike.) Every once in a while, the muse steps in and comes up with a good one. As for the *whatever* that we have to offer, that’s exactly what star polishing helps us figure out — what our special genius is and what to do about it. That’s why I love it so much! And I love you too. Thanks for coming out and playing “fer realz” here on Star Polisher the Sequel.


avatar Sandi Amorim August 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

C’mon! That was MY favourite line in the whole post too!!! 😉


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Great minds, Sandi. Great minds. :)


avatar Jenny August 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

That makes three of us!


avatar jackie jordan August 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Wow! You’ve not been hiding out – you’ve been working it out! Proud of you and I’ll be there at the coast-of-Maine B&B next summer. And that’s my promise!


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Hey there, Jackie, so nice to see you here! Thanks for the kind words, and I’m holding you to it about coming to the retreat. It’s a date!


avatar Sarah | Holistic Hot Sauce August 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Wow, if that was hiding before I think we’re in for quite a star polishing ride now! No more shrinkage – we are here to share those gifts and you, Carol, have some big big gifts to share. I, for one, can’t wait! (And wow – that Retreat sure sounds tempting…)


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:39 pm

“No more shrinkage.” I love it, Sarah! And I’m saving a spot at the retreat for you. Just so you know. :)


avatar Christine August 8, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Hey Carol,
Way to go-You have inspired me to get out of my own way and get out there!
Love your honesty. Sign me up for the retreat and hopefully make a plan to have one here in Sunny California. I am ready! There are many of us who have been renting out that room for way too long.
You are a breath of fresh air!


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Yep, I think it might be time to close for all of us to close down that “not good enough” room once and for all. I think a retreat in CA sounds like a wonderful idea, Christine! I’m ashamed to admit I have never set foot in the state and have always wanted to. A retreat on each coast? Works for me!


avatar Sandi Amorim August 8, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Where do I sign up for the retreat??? Oh hell, just sign me up for any and all star polishing goodies!

And seriously…it’s about time! For as you so rightly stated, when we sit on our gifts nobody wins. Kind of a cosmic rip off don’t ya think?


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Done. You’re signed up for any and all star polishing goodies, including the retreat, Sandi. And it absolutely is a cosmic rip-off when we don’t acknowledge or use our gifts. That’s why I love encouraging people to discover their special genius and share it with the world — it’s a win-win for everyone.


avatar Doreen Fulton August 8, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I am so happy for you and for those who will polish their stars with your help!! You are sent from heaven above and truly are a star yourself! With much appreciation!


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Doreen, your words warm my heart and bring tears to my eyes. Thank you.


avatar Nancy August 8, 2012 at 10:56 pm

WOW! What a great gift to share with the world. I am thrilled that you’re out of hiding with Star Polisher shining brightly! Well done my friend!


avatar Carol Hess August 8, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Thank you, Nancy. Star Polisher wouldn’t be shining so brightly right now without your help. And I’m very grateful to you.


avatar Jenny August 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Carol, what can I say? This journey together has been such an honor for me and I know I’ve made a lifetime friend. So don’t worry, sister, I’ll always be here to call you on the small things if needed…I just have a hunch there’s not going to be a need again. And I think this post proves it. Much love and congratulations!


avatar Carol Hess August 10, 2012 at 6:33 am

“Lifetime friend.” I like the sound of that, Jenny. This seems like the perfect opportunity to thank you for your support and wisdom. I’m so glad you are part of my life and my business. Star Polisher and I are better for it.


avatar Lisa Chase August 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I LOVE your website and LOVE your blog! I will be checking in with you to see how you are doing. How’s the Y? Pool cold?? Email me at home so we can chat. Let me know if you want to do lunch sometime or coffee or whatever. Hope Life is treating you well and enjoy summer and fall

Hugs, Lisa{Mercy PT}


avatar Carol Hess August 13, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Hey there, Lisa. I was just thinking about you today as I was at the Y for my orientation. Pool starts tomorrow — and only 3 degrees cooler than Mercy’s. Not bad. Yes, let’s get together for sure. I’ll email you. And I’m so glad you like the website and blog. Don’t be a stranger. :)


avatar Jackie Walker August 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm

hmm, I think I need a trip to coincide with that retreat, it sounds so scrummy :)


avatar Carol Hess August 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Jackie, I’m hoping “scrummy” is a GOOD word in Scottish-speak, yes? Your room awaits you, Madame. :)


avatar Stephanie August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Carol, I am SO proud of you! Glad to see you playing SUPERsize with all those great upcoming offerings! Incidentally, we saw Hope Springs yesterday, and my ache to visit Maine has been reinstated. Could happen! Thanks for being the real deal, friend!


avatar Carol Hess August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I’m seeing Hope Springs this afternoon — didn’t realize it’s set in Maine. Wonder why Meryl didn’t call me when she was in town? LOL Would love to see you here for a visit any time, but I recommend skipping winter. Rest of the time it’s beeyootiful here. And thank you for your kind words, Steph. Glad you like my new size and offerings. :)


avatar Ciara Conlon August 22, 2012 at 9:06 am

Good timing to come across this article Carol, I’ve decided this year i’m playing big, No more manageable success, total Big Hairy Audacious Success :)


avatar Carol Hess August 22, 2012 at 9:49 am

Yay, Ciara! Your comment gave me goosebumps because it was such a powerful statement of intention. The Universe likes those kinds of statements. So tell us how we can help you achieve your BHAS, because you don’t have to do it alone.


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